To my Papa...

Today, my Papa would have been 84. I can't believe he's been gone 4 years... and I still miss him LIKE CRAZY. I've already had myself a good cry, and I don't doubt that there will be more throughout the day. I've looked through pictures and reread this post. And I know if he were still around, he'd be making a fuss over us making a fuss about him. He'd be saying today is like any other day, to save our money, and to not buy him gifts. He'd be running to the grocery store for my Grandma Chicken who'd be giving him a hard time in her half Japanese/ half English slang- what is that? Japalish? Englanese? And he'd be at the market- buying things we like- never things for himself.

And at the end of all of it, after getting upset at us for buying him presents, for making a fuss over him, and after eating take out pizza (their birthday splurge) and homemade birthday cake, I'd find him outside- having a smoke, taking in the view, with Maverick by his side. I'd sit with him as the hot, California, summer air began to cool, and just enjoy being next to him.

Happy Birthday Papa. I miss every single thing about you.